DUBYA

5.31.2013

This week our office hosted Night at the Museum taking place in the new George Bush Presidential Center. Our department handled logistics, so I was able to walk through before we opened the doors and get all creepy girl on my phone taking pictures.

Stems did the flowers and I was obsessed. I can't wait to see the professional non iPhone pictures of them. Someone get married in Dallas and hire them kthanks.


It's cute if you can't guess what my favorite part of the museum was...


Back in the day, I sent Barney (ugh RIP) and Miss Beazley a Christmas card from Oliver Kahn...I may have been in college and you can just get over it. A few weeks later, I received a full on packet back from the first pets including head shots and a letter to Oliver signed with all their paw prints ok.  I still have it...made my life year. I may have lingered in this section until told to step away from the animals. I MAY have gotten home and told Oliver about his famous kin folk before I said hi to Parnell.

Next up was the oval office.  My coworker worked in the White House and said this portion of the museum is full on "creepy" due to the accuracy of the office. Take note Parnell...not all offices have gun cases, antlers, and deer heads...athankyou.


I do want to return to the museum when I have more time and a bottle of wine beforehand to linger longer in the 9/11 portion and have a solid cry. You will see come September, I am obsessed with watching depressing 9/11 documentaries. Do yourself a favor and watch "The Woman Who Wasn't There"...BAFFLING ok.


Ok ok before we all get a case of the sads...This weekend is sure to be fun and fabulous!  I will be all up in that Aggie crew again for Bethany's baby shower.  I still need to find a solution for wrapping her gift.  Like can baby items not be shaped normally and fit in bags? I bought the biggest bag at Target after I REFUSED the lady at Babies R Us to wrap it in their terrible paper...and the bag is too small. I meaaaaan she registered for it...she probably already saw it was gone...so I can like just hand it to her right? No?

TGIF kids!

SUNDAY FUNDAY

5.30.2013

Nodding Donkey is the new go to brunch spot.  Bottomless mimosas, no wait...like EVER, and good food...call me. Erin, Tamara, Boo, and I met Mark and Diaz (Mark loved it ok) for what is now becoming my Sunday routine. Mark and Diaz chose to go responsible style and order their mimosas by the glass instead of bottomless.  When asked why, Diaz responded "we have to go grocery shopping after this"...true story.  Mark had big dreams about grilling bacon stuffed burgers (Parnell don't get ideas) at his parent's house later, that apparently require a low blood alcohol level to master. Mark also ordered the same thing as me..like seriously...everyone was all up on my orders last weekend.


I am still not 100% what I ate, but I will 100% order it again.
After going hard on brunch and additional mimosas, it was time to get in a bathing suit.  WHY do I always do this to myself? We had girl time at the Parnell Palace as Boo refers to it with some Jon and Jenn on top for a hot sec when they walked over to say hi. We went through an entire Target sangria cube and a few bottles of white wine...judge away but there were FOUR of us, I find the numbers acceptable.

When Erin had had enough sun (literally-she was burned), she decided it was obviously time to go down the slide and do tricks off the diving board.  Mimosa/sangria/wine Erin was cocky ok and I loved it. Boo captured this picture after we convinced her she needed to work on her facials.  I can't...


In true Tamara fashion...she was not having it just sitting on the side lines ok.  Tam got up and we had ourselves an official toe touch diving board battle.  I literally could not stop laughing because it was so amazing...until Tam realized she lost an earring in the pool #missingkendrascottisnotfunny. I mean this was followed by a lot of serious glances, then "FOUND IT"s, then dives (we never found it...). Parnell got home about this time and proclaimed (in an I'm a badass voice) "I will find it for you Tam...and I don't even need goggles...I can open my eyes under water." Parnell has yet to get in the water and look.

We remained outside until I fell asleep on a lougne chair using a towel as a blanket.  Bethany, Mitch, and Todd came by (we are really popular ok) and I had to tuck and roll to bed while the party was still "raging."  I woke up about 4 hours before Tamara and Parnell Monday and took care of this situation.

I'm still on the fence of whether or not I would have rather been at work.


BABIES, BRUNCH, BEST CONCERT EVER, AND BELL

5.29.2013

So Saturday...my phone was on vibrate and I had SEVERAL buzzes by 10:30(ish)am when I came to.  One several were from Diaz asking my opinion on the height Mark was hanging their new artwork (we both could text about this crap ALL DAY ok).  Her last text said "Why aren't you answering me? I know you have been up for hours."  Good call on a normal Saturday...false when Tamara is staying with me. After I replied to Diaz and told her I went to bed at 3am (she was proud/alarmed), I saw Tamara had called and text me.  The plan had always been to get up and go visit Lindsey's new baby Mabel...that name...SO presh ok...only now that plan included me holding a baby with the after wine shakes.

I threw on a "gross outfit" (which is also same thing I wear when I have tons of time to get ready)...wind shorts and a t-shirt and we were on our way in like .2 seconds.

 

I meaaaaaaan puffin egg mcmuffin right? I am so sad I didn't have Tamara take a picture of me with Mabel (she liked me better and babies don't like me).  We caught up and then headed out when it was time for Mabel to eat...and quiet frankly I was about to follow suit and cry to get some food as well.

We picked up Trevor and after driving around for far too long discussing our desire for a place that serves both tacos and burgers, we decided on Social House where they serve both...then no one at the table got a taco or a burger.  We did however, invent a restaurant: Bloody Burger Taco Mimosa.  Please don't pretend that doesn't intrigue you or sound appetizing. We all three got the same sandwich (I can't) and it was not gross...oh and we split some mac and cheese #minordetail.


After I became completely shampooed from the mimosas we consumed...oh I didn't mention that...well we did...it was time for a nap, like the MOST needed nap in history. Tamara was a champ and went to visit another baby while I went home, painted my nails red for Taylor (get it? RED tour) and then laid with my arms crossed like a dead person for the most solid non-moving 2 hour nap ever.

My alarm went off at 4:30pm...I was vertical for about 4 minutes before the power went out.  YES OK.  Ummmmmm how are we supposed to get ready with no power? Tamara looked at me like Parnell and I can't pay our bills as I went outside to see if the weather was bad.  Literally out of nowhere the wind picked up and soon it was full on like monsoon raining. Step 1: Call the cab now...this ride is going to take forever.  Step 2: Pour some wine. Step 3: Decide what to wear in the dark and attempt a solid make up job #fungame.

Somehow we managed (champs ok) to get ready and loaded in a cab with a legit kinda funny/ I would love to hang out with him again driver.  $75 and a glass of wine later we had arrived at Cowboys Stadium.  I can't even tell you how many cowboy boot/sundress combos we saw I CAN'T. We then did what the 11 people over the age of 21 were all doing...found the bars. The beauty of seeing an artist popular with children is short lines at the concert bars ok.  We loaded up on $20 double pinot grigios and went to find our "awesome seats because we are #1 and #2 and we can get up however many times we need to and run out and get more drinks and then run to the bathroom and run right back in without making the entire row get up and these seats will be awesome and so legit and so wonderful and yay seats."  Leave it to Tamara and Whitney to purchase seats 1 and 2 in the only magical section in the entire stadium that are up against a cement wall with no aisle. That's right...apparently seats 12 and 13 were the ones to get...F.  So we then were THOSE girls.  We stood where we were not supposed to be, made buddies with the security man guarding the area and stood for the opening act with our doub grigios #doingourrowafavor.

Speaking of the opening act...
ED SHEERAN.


Ok so it goes like this...I knew I liked a few songs of his...but I didn't know I was about to apply to his fan club and aspire to be president within the year.  He came out on stage and I looked at Tam and said "he could be cuter."  A set list and 2 glasses of pinot later, Tamara said "wouldn't it be cool to see him in a more like intimate setting?" and I replied "yes...in my bedroom." OBSESSED yall ok. One of the best live singers I have ever heard and his red mop is just so endearing.

When Ed finshed I cried we RAN to get started on our pre Taylor to do list:
-get more wine
-get a t-shirt
-maybe a bite to eat
-go to the restroom
so.much.to.do.so.little.time.

We started with the t-shirt line...UGH.  It was long.  We had a very loud conversation (sorry wine does that) about who would stay in line and who would go get wine because we didn't have time to both do both. Well then Tamara remembered that she can only get 2 drinks at a time which would mean SINGLE glasses of wine for both of us (GASP). WHAT DO WE DO? A sweet security man then whispered to Tam and called her over, informing us that there was this secret magical world of t-shirts in the Cowboys pro shop around the corner. "WHITNEY COME HERE!" We start running a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle to get there before the secret is out.  We enter and sure enough...it was a warehouse of tour merchandise with people grabbing left and right Hunger Games style. We both grabbed an Ed shirt (deh) and a Taylor shirt within minutes.  I tried to buy a Taylor Swift letter jacket and Tamara wouldn't let me.


It was then time to cross a few more things off our list.  We headed back to the bar and got more wine (obvi) and I turn around to find Tamara in line at the Torpedodog counter...like...no. What is a torpedodog you might ask? It is a hotdog bun with no split in it, they then PUMP your toppings INSIDE the bun, then stick your hotdog in the middle and your toppings like ooze.  Taco Bell is my favorite meal and this made me kinda sick if that tells you anything...


Tamara loved it and I mean I tried it and didn't quite hate it. We then saw this little tart and I had her pose with Tamara on the way to the restroom.  Tamara kept yelling "WHO DOES SHE BELONG TO?" because she was by herself...we found a mom eventually who thought we were creepy and overreacting...again...wine does that.


We hit up the restroom and then heard SCREAMING...perfect timing BOOM.


Literally got to our seats JUST in time.
The show was AMAZEBALLS and "Trouble" could not have been cooler/better/more wonderful/amazing/awesome.


Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...seriously life altering ok.
After the best concert ever it was time to get in the cab line...good thing we got there when we did because it ended up getting out of control long behind us. I will let the cab pictures speak for themselves...double wines will get ya ok kids.


Don't act like you didn't KNOW this was happening...


Taco Bell twice in one weekend...how lucky/fat am I?


TWO DINNERS AND A BELLY BUTTON POP

5.28.2013

Raise your hand if you are super tired from this weekend...me too ok. Friday was the start to a pretty much non stop weekend.  I had a work event (rehearsal dinner-LONG story) which was beyond entertaining in an I would rather not be here than be entertained in this way kind of way. The dinner then ran WAY over the time I was leaving in my head so I had no choice but to meet Tamara and crew in my work outfit...which was lame...


For some reason, someone other than myself decided we should all go to Common Table instead of sitting at someone's house with za...in this weather (if I had used a filter it would have been "The World Is Ending" ok):

By the time I made my way to the restaurant in this weather with some rain and wind on top in THAT outfit I was patting myself on the back...way to rally Kahn...way.to.rally. Friday is notoriously my most lame evening of the week, which for someone who averages an 8:00pm bedtime is saying alot.

Within minutes of finding our table, we were ordering wine and calamari and my seating assignment did not suck (you ALL know those large group dinners when your neighbor is not your favorite...DONT LIE)  #winning.


Once my first glass of wine went down like water after a 5K (I have NO idea what that is actually like but I am pretending) it was time to order and make bad decisions.  I have only been to Common Table for dinner one time and I had the grilled cheese.  I remember thinking "this is so cooooooo" so deh-I ordered it again.  It comes with pork on it...which I don't even like...which has nothing to do with watching a pig get slaughtered in college (it was a class ok)..I just think overall it's a sad lame meat.  WELL some little brilliant fat person thought "let's serve this porky grilled cheese with marinara sauce" and boy or girl I could kiss them for the thought...AMAZEBALLS.


After some food domination we sat around and chatted and popped bottles belly buttons.  Yes...you read that correctly.  Bethany started laughing and then got a look of complete FEAR across her face and said "OMG I LOST MY BELLY BUTTON!"  I'm sorry...whaaa? Yes my friends, Bethany's normal pregnant belly button turned into an outie like before our eyes...at the table...like while I was still eating fries.  She had the biggest case of the sads while she pouted that she had "been holding on to that." Then she asked if we wanted to feel...no yes. Bethany is such a champ about letting us fondle her stomach.  I was double fisting a wine glass or french fries and her stomach for a majority of the evening.


That grilled cheese got around ok (because I was being so thin and didn't eat it all...).
As we were waiting for the check, I waited for what I knew was coming...Tamara to make additional plans.  Within minutes, that tart was on her phone and then told me "let's go have A drink and see Trev" aka baby McDonald aka Tam's brother. I agreed to go...in THAT work outfit...thats right...pat on back.

We arrived at Black Friar (I CANT) and tried to find Trevor.  We were the only people there over the age of 23 or drinking wine. I tried to act all fun and young but it was tough ok...I was NOT sad when we left. 


We left and MAY have gone to Taco Bell.  IT JUST HAPPENED. I know...we JUST ate dinner...I'm aware.  We took TB back to the casa and opened about a bottle of wine per person.  I then decided to get my camera out and take over 100...yes...pictures of Oliver because "ugh he is the most precious thing ever."  Out of the 100+ I took...NONE are good pictures...not one #havemorewinewhitney.  When I felt I could hang no longer, I looked at the time and it was 3:00am...yes, as in the number after 2 and before 4...like NOPE.  I do not have what it takes to be a McDonald.

Saturday started out a liiiiiittle rough as you can imagine...and it was TAYLOR SWIFT day so obviously I locked it up and lived to blog about it...more to come.

 

RED

5.24.2013

Well, as my coworker put it last night, the Sea Turtle Inc. event "went swimmingly." My besties are packed up and on the road to go back to South Padre.  NGL (not gonna lie-shout out Gravley), I want to go visit them..like fly obvi BUT STILL.

Ok ok so I know everyone has big plans for the long weekend and everything but sorr...mine are better.


BOOM
THATS RIGHT

Tamara and Wallace are traveling to Dallaaaa today so we can go see our friend Taylor tomorrow(well...Wallace has to stay home with Oliver but you know what I mean). 

I could not be more excited assuming Tamara doesn't leave the tickets in Austin. I may even get CRA and apply red lipstick (it makes me look ill with yellow teeth) for the big night.  I am going to try my hardest to not pull a Justin Timberlake concert and have so much wine before that I don't remember which songs were played #nopromises.

We literally have no set plans for the rest of the weekend (I mean...I'm sure we will have some meals of food).  Our main focus is on our girl Taylor and I don't know about you...but I'm feeling 22.

TGIF tarts!

AM I NOT TURTLE-Y ENOUGH FOR THE TURTLE CLUB?

5.23.2013

Last night while most of you were settling in for the night, I was at work waiting on my new besties.  We are hosting an event this evening for Sea Turtle Inc. out of South Padre Island (party?) and you can't exactly have a turtle event without any turtles so...these little puffins made the long road trip to get to us.  As someone who just LOST IT after being in a car for 6 hours, I admire the turtles ok-oh and they are rescue turtles so they are all missing a flipper here and there...slow clap.

When they unloaded them last night we got a personal turtle lesson.  Allison is the largest one in the group (sorry girl, you are) and weighs a whopping 70 lbs.  I thought this was impressive until I learned that she will grow up to 500...NEVERMIND #getabiggertank.  The other two are little babies, one of which was born without a left lung which causes him to swim in circles only.  They fed him last night and it literally took him FOREVER to get his measly little food pellet in his mouth...come to think of it...I gave up watching before he succeeded...he might be starving. I wanted to just pick him up and place the pellet in his mouth...but there were signs everywhere warning not to stick our hands in the tank #rulefollower.  Imagine missing your bite the first time around and then having to swim the entire circumference of the tank for another try...sounds like the most legit turtle diet ever.


I returned to work this morning and obviously had to check in on the little squishes in our lobby.  Lets be honest here...no one is working today.  It looked like a theme park down there with lots of iPhone pictures happening.  Allison also may or may not have had a stomach ache last night...the tank coloring was...a little off..I hope someone is taking care of this today other than myself.



 
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