PHILANTHROPY FAIL

3.25.2014

A while back, a few of girls had the idea to start a service project if you will, quarterly for our group of friends.  Sara took the reigns planning our first one that happened to fall this past Saturday.  We each were to bring food supplies including but not limited to a lot of bologna in order to assemble lunches for the hungry around Dallas. 

We met at Sara's bright and early, loaded up our trunk full of groceries, and headed out to Coppell...YES ok.  If you are not from Dallas, let me include a note here that this is like...far. We get to Coppell and pull into the church as indicated on our directional flyer.  I meaaaaaaaan we couldn't even find a parking spot.  "Are you sure we are at the right church?  Are we sure this is correct? Why is this place so crowded?"

A nice gentleman motioned for us to pull up to the front of the church in the fire lane.  We informed him that we were just "going to unload really quickly and then move the car."  Upon walking inside the church (grocery bags in hand), we were welcomed to the Hispanic Women's Conference.  Apparently the date got changed for our food assembly?? No one mentioned it to Sara?? 

Like what the F are we supposed to do with 15 pounds of bologna?

(Diaz fish-tailed me en route)


After laughing so hard we could barely stand it, we decide to do the logical thing and go back to Sara's house to make our own sandwich assembly...and then pass them out...to homeless people...downtown....OBVIOUSLY.

We got about 30 bagged lunches in when Jon (Sara's lawyer husband) informs us that you kind of need like a city ordinance to pass out food...and our plan was like...what some might consider illegal.  #buzzkill (We might have had a liiiiiittle champagne so I can like actually use that phrase).

Desiree swooped in and saved the day by contacting her mother in law who was able to use the unopened food items for a project at her church.  However, we still had 30+ lunches just itching to be consumed...so into Sara's Mercedes we jump with bologna galore to hit the streets.  

We were on the hunt for those we felt "needed a sammy."  Kayla at one point eliminated someone because they were wearing a belt...apparently a status symbol in her eyes.  

After a few hours, a lot of laughter, and thoughts of consuming the bologna ourselves, we had passed out all lunches and avoided arrest by local authorities. We rewarded ourselves by going through the Burger Street drive through and getting a sack lunch of our own.


Instead of switching up the area of our service, we decided we might stick with bologna, organize a JumpStart to make money toward the purchase of a van (so we can deliver together of course), and go by the name Bologna Bitches. After asking many to spell bologna, we received the best response of "b-o-u--l-o-u-g-n-e" (I won't name names), which led us to pronounce it as though it was the cousin of "cologne", thus giving us the tag line of:

"You are not bologne"

Until next quarter...


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